I don’t get a lot of comments on my blog, so it’s encouraging when I do. On one of my previous posts, Writing on the Door Post, a slow trickle a comments has broken my heart and got my hackles up a bit, as well. While the blog is about memorizing scripture, for one reader it triggered memories of a Christian father who abandoned his family for a younger woman. Another reader’s pain and frustration with unfaithful men wrecking havoc on wives and children.
Mind you, I am not frustrated with my readers – I’m right along with them in their frustration and hurt when it comes to men acting like dogs instead of the servant, prophet, priest, and king they are called to be.
I am probably going out on a limb here, but I have never encountered a marriage in trouble or one ended in divorce where the problems couldn’t be traced back to a husband not fulfilling his role as defined in God’s Word. I don’t say this lightly, and have been presented with ton’s of examples of wives cheating or abandoning the relationship, but when I ask if the husband had fulfilled their role as servant, prophet, priest, and king, I get a lot of blank stares and embarrassed mumbles.
In the spirit of full disclosure, I have had met one guy where it seemed as if he was acting in the position God had appointed for him, but had been abandoned by his wife anyway. However, it didn’t take too deep a look into the wife’s past to discover there was a husband that had failed (in some horrible ways) to fulfill that God-calling – her father.
Guys, today’s FaithHack is for you. If you want to see the revival of trust, fidelity, and passion in your marriage, Be The Man. Not the man the world called you to be – one of the boys, woman crazy, self-indulgent, effeminate, materialistic, domineering, disaffected, selfish, ( you get the point ) – but, Be The Man that God is calling you to be. If you need a great example of a husband, don’t look to TV Dads or Hollywood Husbands, but try looking to Jesus as your measuring stick.
He is Servant – Understanding and meeting your spouses needs is probably one of the best preventatives of marital strife. I have found it hard grumble about someones flaws when I have set my heart and mind on building them up. Weaknesses and failings become opportunities to “fill in the blanks”, to be a provider where provision is needed and not just where I am good at it.
Being the provider is not just about getting a paycheck and paying the bills, but it is about being a “help meet” or an “appropriate and matched companion” for your wife. Think about all the ways she make your life easier. What more can you do to make her life easier, more secure, and more enjoyable?
He is Prophet – No, not the “press the envelope to the swami hat and guess what is in side” kind of prophet. Your wife and your family needs you to be a prophet in God’s sense of the word: Speaking God’s heart and mind into their lives. Next time you you go to speak frustration, anger, or pettiness toward your spouse, remember that your are appointed to be the prophet for your family and the words coming out of your mouth reflect God to them – do you really think He would want you to say what you where about to say as if it was in His name?
He is Priest – Whether you like it or not, you guys are the appointed as the priest of your home. It is your job to lead them toward God, to be the intercessor, the worshiper, and the discipler of your family. I am not saying that each member of your family isn’t to seek a personal relationship with God, but they should desire to do that with you as the example – not in spite of you.
He is King – Before you get excited and think you have this one covered as you sit in you royal blue La-Z-Boy lounge – ask yourself – “Am I King, Caesar, or Tyrant?”.
By my understanding, a Tyrant uses his people for his own glory and self-edification. I am always amazed at the size of the statues being toppled on TV when another tyrant bits the dust. Did they really think outsiders would be impressed by the edifices to the tyrant and not see the neglected and hurting people building them? Guys, think about what that shiny new, bright red, Dodge Ram 3500 really says about you when your spouse is at the food bank.
A Caesar takes credit for the successes (but not the failures) of his subjects. He makes sure history sees the conquests and victories of his subjects are the direct results of his leadership. When was the last time you said, “She did that.” instead of “We did that.”?
A true King takes responsibility for the welfare of those he has been appointed to serve and protect. He builds castle walls to protect his people from attack, and store houses to protect against famine. He trains up his son’s to be men of honor and courage and defends the virtue and hearts of his daughters. A King raises up his successor with an eye toward ensuring that his people will continue to be served when he is gone.
So, guys, it’s time to Be The Man!